Presence.

7:15 am.

My first time stepping into the 90 degree room in three days and immediately the overwhelming warmth enveloped my cold, stiff body.

We begin with the usual sequence of cat-cows and got into a vinyasa flow. Although I hadn't done yoga in three days it might as well have been my first time. I spent almost the entire class desperately trying to open my chakras and get more down in my dogs. I was getting frustrated because I just couldn't twist or open or bend the way I was used to being able to, and getting further frustrated because I was only focusing on what I couldn't do when I know better than to think like that.

It was only during one of the last few poses that I decided to focus on nothing else but my breath. And during Shavasana my angry, frustrated thoughts began festering up again but I pushed them out with my breath. I didn't matter that I fell out of my Bakasana or that I had not exercised the entire weekend. I lead my body into this room and I was here, right now and that was it. And I was grateful.

Now I've never been particularly good at meditation, and it is one part of my practice that I really need to work on. But from my experience, one of the main principles of yoga is realizing that you are whole as you are and your entire being is whole from birth to death. There is nothing to be attained.

Yoga is not just about the act, the flexibility, being able to put your leg behind your head. It is the realization that doing yoga connects you with yourself, so to speak. (Basically I see it as the journey, not the destination). Being in that room, linking your breath to the poses and holding that pose is an exercise for the body as well as the mind because both are forced to be present and active in that one action. I remembered the days where at the end of a yoga class I would walk out and think "Wow, I didn't think about my {insert current life crisis here} once that whole time!" And for my ADD brain that is an accomplishment. A greater feeling of accomplishment than any headstand had ever given me.

Sometimes I find yoga comes naturally to me and sometimes I feel like I did today. But I still crave yoga and have a insane desire to improve my practice and learn everything I can about it. Somehow I am able to hop out of bed every morning at six a.m. when it's still dark outside and be happy. And excited! Excited to get my yoga on.
And I can't really ask for much more than that.

images : pinterest